He crawls through gridlock on his way to breaking news listening to Mozart rather than Metallica.
The back of his underwear looks like a Roarschach Test.
If he were to give you directions, they’d include ever food joint from here to eternity.
When it is raining, he’ll be standing in it because a stacker told him to.It is true what you have heard of him. It is true that he doesn’t own a car, but has taken the mast off a live truck on a low-hanging limb.
So please, allow me to introduce the world’s most disinterested man.
His cargo pants alone can carry more than a reporter’s entire body.
He uses a battery belt hold up his pants.
He travels at the speed of smell.
His waistline is expanding faster than the universe.
Stay thirsty my friend.