We’ve been saying it for years, but finally we have it!
Irrefutable proof of the treatment photogs around the globe suffer at the hands of the assignment desk. I’m not talking some lame dog-and-pony show that pops up as your trusty lens-toting stevedore places his order at the drive-thru. Or that live shot thrust upon an unknowing tape-ape if he dare begin to whistle a happy tune. These are mere misdemeanors of pack mule abuse compared to the compelling visual evidence gathered this week.
turdpolishertv has acquired an un-doctored, un-authorized photo from a newsroom management training session. And while the techniques displayed in this photo will come as no surprise to anyone who has ever schlepped a lens, its very existence puts this blog and photogs everywhere in grave danger.
TPTV has it on good authority that the photo was snapped secretly, and smuggled out of a leadership training seminar. It is not broadcast quality, but it was taken by a one-man crew using the latest hand-held digital technology, so houseboys should be impressed.
At first glance, it looks like any other picture of a photog approaching the assignment desk asking for a day off. But upon closer inspection, this is evidence of something far more sinister.
First off, you will notice that the photog’s face has been concealed — probably to protect him from retribution from his photog buddies if they should ever find out he participated in such a training session.
Second, notice his position. All-fours. Back arched. Buttock tucked. Legs splayed. Almost like he’s expecting something. This would never happen in the real world, for the assignment desk is crafty. It approaches with great stealth and attacks when least expected. It would never allow a shooter to prep for insertion.
Next, notice the large houseboy looming over the supplicant. His face too is somewhat concealed, but the OMB that shot the picture tells TPTV that said houseboy seemed almost gleeful as he demonstrated his technique to the room full of future managers.
Lastly, pay special attention to the large man’s hands as he points out the best places to grip a photog to achieve maximum thrust when delivering an assignment.
At this point in the demonstration, our OMB nearly passed out, but not until after he snapped one photo and secreted his hand-held device in a dark, clinched orifice.
TPTV does not expect the publication of such inflammatory photos to change the plight of photogs anywhere. We here on the blog have only published the photo as proof of what we lenslingers have known for years and as a warning for future photogs.
If this blog disappears, you’ll know why.