For news folks, Christmastime is the absolute worst. There’s snow, traffic, crowded shopping centers, Christmas lights, and not much else. Government officials are hard to come by, so that story on that Turd Tax proposed by the Sewage Control Board will have to wait till the calendar turns. The education beat is nothing but fluff. If you’re lucky, some thugs will mug an inflatable Santa overnight and your crime team can jump on that.
And let’s not even talk about working while everyone else is getting smashed on alcoholic egg juice.
So to lighten the mood, and bring a little joy to newsrooms everywhere, I bring you, Newsy Newsy Christmas. (Think Burl Ives) And Merry Christmas.Have a newsy, newsy Christmas It’s the worst time of the year It’s fo sho that there’ll be snow so pack your rainy gear Have a newsy newsy Christmas And when you walk down the street Say Hey-Hey to Pookie and Ray And folks on the Street Beat Oh ho The mistletoe Hung from your belt loop Tell the boss to kiss you Right down where you poop Have a newsy newsy Christmas And in case you didn’t hear Oh by golly There’ll be no newsroom raises Next year.