Ever since the first consultant schlepped from the primordial ooze and learned how to pronounce the labiovelar fircative “wh” and paired it with “eather wins,” Homoreporterous, and his partner Neander-tog have donned day-glo plastic jackets and tromped into the great wet yonder. Ya see, Cro-Magnon Stacker and the rest of the prehistoric houseboys believe that every drop containing two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom hold the key to ratings dominance and everlasting life. That and it’s fun to watch the street people kevetch.
It’s been raining every January in South Louisiana since before there were Januaries or Louisianas. But when it rains for 10 days straight and Boudreaux-anthropus starts strapping pond fronds together and all the prehistoric species line up in pairs, every good Neander-tog knows he’s got a full blown rain event. No matter how much he fights it, he and his fancyrock are gonna have to suck it up and document every soggy minute for the folks back in the cave.
The first day or two aint bad. There’s enough water gathered in ditches throughout the glades for Homoreporterous to stand in while grunting into his Audio Stichnica RE-70 stick. Come day 9 0r 10 without so much as a damp bearskin rug in Joe Six-Pithecus’s cave, your Stone-Age news crew has to get creative.
I gotta tip my hat and wrinkle my protruding brow at the more highly evolved half of my team last night. He found a new wrinkle on a soggy day, and made for some interesting television. Even if it won’t be invented for another 10-thousand years.