Snow Day!

Christmas ElfFar be it for me to complain about the news business — that social institution that brings such merriment and goodwill into homes each evening. If you think the steady dose of blood, guts, crime, corruption, lies, and smut (and that’s just on the capitol beat) disgusts you, imagine what it does to the hardworking mules and hairdos that wallow in that crap to earn their daily bread. It’s enough to turn even the cheeriest intern into a grumbling cynic in one semester.

Add to that the fact that television stations, like hospitals, never close, and it’s workers have to slave through the holiday season and miss the family’s roast beast. Instead of boozing it up with the rest of civilization on New Year’s Eve, TV folk must remain sober so their cameras can be in focus when you plow through the city’s nativity scene.

Needless to say, holidays in the news media aint that joyous. Oh, I try to do my part. Every year I write a Christmas carol for all the folks in the newsroom to try to force people into a jolly damned mood.

1978-Blizzard-Makes-a-Comeback-This-Time-It-s-Called-NemoLet it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!

Oh the weather outside is frightful
My producer is so insightful
And she’s got no other news for her show
Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!

No time for Christmas shopping
‘Cuz the storms they keep a popping
I got a live shot at the top of the show
Fuck the Snow! Fuck the snow! Fuck the snow!

When the anchorman says good-night
I’ll still be standing out in the storm!
Cuz a photog’s got no life
And no one to keep him warm.

His soul is slowly dying
And the stacker soon starts her crying
I need another shot for my show
Fuck the Snow! Fuck the snow! Fuck the snow!

Here’s wishing all you newsies a snow-free, wreck-less, fire retardant, controversy proof, yule tide.



About Rick

Writer, photographer, thinker of deep thought . . . too bad I only write about shallow ones.
This entry was posted in Day in the Life, Satire and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Snow Day!

  1. zendestin says:

    lol. I wish you blogged more often.
    BTW, hopefully you’ll be proud to know that your book is one of the reading selections at ZenDestin :))

  2. Rick says:

    I hope to foist more sarcasm onto the masses in the new year. And thanks for pushing my baby on your guests. I hope they don’t sue you for it.

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